How To Find the Love of Your Life Even If You Have Tried Everything Else And Failed

How I can find love again?  Well, what do you want?, I asked Jessica, a smart, accomplished and sophisticated business woman.

I don’t know, she said.  I guess I just want to feel loved.  Like someone cares about me, you know?

What does that look like?  Well, I don’t know.

If you were going to guess what it looked like, what would you say?

It will be sweet.  Honest.  Caring.  Romantic.  I will feel special.  I will feel like I’m having a really great massage.

What else?  It will be everything I’ve dreamed about.

What about you?

Have you wished for your own very fairytale?  Have you ever wondered if your last relationship didn’t work out because you were not enough or because something was wrong with you?

Have you ever asked yourself if you will ever find love again, or whether it is even worth it putting yourself out there again?

In my personal life and coaching experiences, I have heard a variation of these questions from women in different stages of life.  From those who are just getting over their first breakup to women who are struggling to heal after a difficult divorce.

If you’re asking yourself any of these questions, then it may be time to try something new.

Maybe it is finally time to find out what is possible if you search from the inside out.

What if the true answer lies within?  Within you.

Apart from our spiritual relationship, the deepest and most authentic relationship we can have in our lifetime is the one with ourselves.

Whether or not we find our “soul mate,” or “one true love” or “love of our life,” does not depend on how skinny we are or how rich we are.

No matter who you are, what you are, and how much money you have, life happens!  Breakups happen!

Real fulfillment in love and life comes from knowing who we are.  From knowing what we want, and what having it will mean in our lives.


Photo courtesy of Miatta-MiMi for Baby Okra Boutique
 Photo credit: Tina Krohn


Just looking for love to replace something or someone, or to find companionship, before actually building a relationship with ourselves could lead to the same broken road; the same breakup story.

Before “unbreaking” your heart and running to the nearest matchmaker, love coach or relationship expert, spend some time getting to you and your love story.

What does love mean to you today?

What does that love look like?

How will you know when you have it?

Have you ever had the kind of love that you’re looking for now?

What did it feel like when you had it? What did you make it mean about you when you had it, and what story did you create when you lost it?

Can you point to the limiting beliefs and negative self-talk you have about relationships, dating and love?  What is holding you back?  What’s in the way?  How do you plan to shift whatever is in the way so that you don’t get stuck?

Most women want to fall passionately in love.  They want to find someone who makes their heart skip.

What if you created a passionate relationship with yourself first?  What if you treated yourself as exquisitely and lovingly as you want to be treated?

What if the way you see yourself, the way you treat yourself and who you are being attracts the love of your life?

What is possible if you understand yourself better so that you can know with confidence the most important attributes that you want in your life partner?

You are the expert on your life.  You’re the only one who truly knows what you want.  You’re the only one who knows what will make your soul happy.

As a transformational life and business coach, I believe no one is broken.  While your story may be broken, you are not.  And most importantly, you are not your story.  I relate to you as whole, complete and Enough, and always meet you exactly where you are.

Are you up for a challenge?

I challenge you to run toward the life you desire from possibility, rather than run away from what you don’t want out of fear.

Who you choose to be determines what you get and what you create for yourself.

You can choose to create love from your essence, or from any of the crummy stories you tell yourself about your life.

Who are you being in your quest for love?  Where are you choosing from?  Where else can you choose from?

What is possible for you based on where you choose from in your life?



I love hearing from you! Comment below and share your thoughts.

Want to connect?  Email me at mimidabo@lifecoachforwomen to share your story, your perspective, your comments or your questions.

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Peace and Love,
Your Transformational Life Coach + Relationship Coach
MiMi Dabo
Ready to bounce back and create the life you want?
Grab your FREE Self-Love Guide at

I support business women + entrepreneurs who want to create 6-figure+ businesses.  I help them create ideal clients, confidently charge premium prices, and build a thriving life, business and relationships.

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