How to Succeed in Life: Stop Self-Sabotaging Yourself with a Negative Self-Image and Get Unstuck

I’m stuck. I don’t think I can start this business. I don’t think I can find the right guy.  I’m not pretty enough.  I’m not skinny enough.  I’m not healthy enough.  I don’t have confidence. I don’t have the courage for this.  Maybe I’m just meant to do what I’m doing and stay where I am. After all, I have a good job.

Maybe I’m not good enough to stay married or create the type of love I want for myself.  Maybe I’m just not enough. Not everyone can be happy.  Right?  As long as you have your health and people who love you, nothing else matters, Right?

Where have you heard any of these before?  What about the conversation below?  Familiar?

“I really want to create a good self-image for myself, but I don’t know how,” Stacy said.  “I honestly don’t know where to start.”

“What do you want, Stacy?” “I don’t know. I want my friends and family to respect me.  I want to do the things I really want. I want to achieve my goals.  I don’t want to be insecure anymore, she said.” “How can I improve my self-image?”

What about you?

Do Stacy’s self-image questions resonate with you?  Have you ever struggled with self-image issues? How do you use self-image stories to self-sabotage your goals?  How do they keep you stuck?

Have you ever wondered what a healthy self-esteem, self-worth and self-love would mean in your life? What would it look like? What would it feel like? How will life be different for you?

Photo courtesy of (Baby Okra Boutique) Tina Krohn

Creating a positive self-image or positive mindset is more than just having the respect of friends and family. It is also more than just improving life as it is. It is a transformation of who we are being, and how our lives are fully aligned with our core values. Any form of deep transformation happens from the inside out, and starts with a healthy dose of kindness and compassion toward self. Knowing who we are, who we are being, what we want, and taking off any self-imposed limitations is the first step toward self-love.

What we think forms our perceptions and belief systems about ourselves, others and the world. This shapes our daily reality. Any negative beliefs about ourselves creates ongoing stories about what we can and cannot do or have, and builds subconscious mental and emotional blocks that keep us stuck. These same limiting beliefs influence how loud our inner critic gets every time we move toward a new goal or plan. What we think or believe about ourselves has a stronger chance of self-sabotaging our lives than what others think or say about us.

Learning to develop an authentic relationship with self, and trusting that you’re the expert on your life, and know what you want creates a basis for identifying obstacles, getting unstuck and moving forward.

Photo courtesy of Boutique Mix ( Tina Krohn

Use these five simple steps to shift your beliefs about yourself and transform your relationship to your self-worth, confidence, and an irresistible self-image.

Identify and Explore:

  1. The stories, beliefs and experiences that have shaped your life up to today. What have you made them mean about you? How have they affected who you are, what you do, and what you believe you can achieve in life? What if these were those stories? Just broken, empty stories. And what if you are not your story? What if you’re whole and complete, and the only thing broken is the story? What happens if you choose to step outside the stories and look at yourself in a whole new light? What will be possible?
  1. Your positive qualities – Create a list of everything that is amazing and wonderful about you. Ask friends, families and colleagues for their input too. Focus on the positive. Ignore any stories or limiting beliefs that come up about what certain words mean or don’t mean. Finalize your list with 10 to 15 positive qualities about yourself. These will motive, inspire you and challenge you to live up to them.
  1. Your core values – Create a list of the things you believe are important to you. Where and how are they showing up in your life right now? How do these core values show up in your personal relationships, professional life, finances, health, wellbeing, romantic relationship, spiritual life and community? Are you currently living a life aligned with these core values? If not, what is in the way? What is possible for your self-image if you aligned your lifestyle with the values that truly mattered to you? With the values that serve as your basis for integrity in your life?
  1. What makes you unique – Figure out what makes you stand out. What makes you unique? What life experiences and skills have you acquired that make you uniquely qualified for the goals you have for yourself? Notice any judgements that come up about experiences or things you have used to disqualify yourself in the past. Embrace what you have deemed imperfections about yourself. What can you learn from them? To whom will they be an asset? What is possible if you embrace everything about yourself to live authentically and show up fully every day, everywhere. What would your relationship to self-doubt, limiting beliefs and other opinions about you change? What would you think about yourself? What would your relationship to your self-image look like?
  1. Your passions, your dreams and the people, places and things that give you the most joy. Take time to discover your life purpose and create a vision for your personal and professional life that makes you want to jump out of bed every morning. Create specific and measurable goals aligned with your values and purpose, and take an inventory of your skills. What skills do you already have that you can use? Who in your life has other skills that could be a resource for your goals. Build a mindset that lets you live your life purpose. Shift your relationship to fear, doubt, anxiety, overwhelm, lack of money, lack of time, and create an abundance breakthrough for yourself. Finally, create an optimal environment to succeed. What and who drains your energy? What motivates and inspires you? What is possible if you add more of these to your life?

In each step, what obstacles did you identify that could be in the way of making this transformation happen?  What plan to do you have for dealing with them?  What do you need?  Be specific.

Now, that you have gone through this transformative process, and answered all the questions above, how will you complete the next sentence? I AM _______________________.

Are you ready to live your best life yet? Is 2018 your year to create what you truly want in your personal life, professional life or business? Is now the right time to be everything you were created to be? Then Join MiMi and inspiring women from around the world for the 90-Day Journey to Living and Working with Purpose. This three month virtual group program will transform your life, shift your perceptions and empower you to be, do and create what you want. Click HERE to Register!!

I love hearing from you! Comment below and share your thoughts.

Want to connect? Email me at mimidabo@lifecoachforwomen to share your story, your perspective, your comments or your questions.

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Peace and Love,
Your Transformational Life Coach + Relationship Coach
MiMi Dabo
Ready to bounce back and create the life you want?
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I coach high-performing professional women and creative entrepreneurs (and some visionary men) who are committed to making an impact in the world, but are stuck, bored, or unfulfilled, in their professional or personal lives. I also help women to bounce back from breakups, separation, or divorce, and create beautiful lives. I help them shift negative emotions and regain the confidence and self-esteem to reinvent their lives.

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