What happens every time you decide to step outside your comfort zone, do something different, do something new, or up level your life?
Who or what shows up to the party?
If you haven’t guessed it yet, this post will give you a clue.
I love my work! Coaching women entrepreneurs and coaches to grow successful online businesses creates many shifts and insights for them, and with their permission (which I appreciate), it also creates opportunities for me to share some of the many business coaching lessons learned.
The Power of Fear in Business
Yesterday, I had a call with an amazing woman who wants to start her own online coaching business. She is currently working as In-House Counsel for a great company and has also been dreaming of being a life coach for the last five years (she even has two certifications under her stylish belt).
But she’s stuck (for about 3 years now). She would love to quit her corporate attorney job and focus on her coaching business, but she’s afraid.
The moment she decided to grow her own life coaching business, FEAR showed up.
Lot’s of them. And there’s nothing wrong with that. In fact, it’s smart to ask questions before jumping into full-time entrepreneurship.
And it’s also great to have fear.
At least until the fear becomes a STOP.
Her questions are not the usual ones like “How do I start an online coaching business” or “how do I get coaching clients?”
She’s clear on Business 101.
The Common Ways Fear Shows Up in Your Business
Hers were more rooted in deep, paralyzing fear.
The “but what if X [happens]” variety.
Fear of failure – “But what if I start coaching and find out that I’m not good at it and then I have to go back to law because that’s all I know how to do?”
Fear of Success – “But what if the business takes off and then I am not able to start a family because I’m too busy for a husband and kids and my clients just take over my life?”
Fear of visibility – “But what if my friends from law school find out and ask why I’m coaching. What if they criticize me for spending all that money on law school and then dumping it for coaching? But what if people judge me because I want to make the same kind of money I’m making now, and coaching is all about helping people not making money, right?”
Fear of making money – “But what if I really do start making some good money and my boyfriend gets jealous and decides not to propose because I make more money than him. What if it pisses him off and he doesn’t end up giving me a ring? I really don’t want to rock that boat.”
Here’s the deal!
I get it.
I’ve been there.
“But what if they keep staring at me,” I said to my coach.
But what if they hate my accent and say things like “excuse me can you repeat that?”
I’ll do it when I put on weight and maybe work on my accent bit.
At the time, I really believed it.
Once I decided to become visible in my business and contribute something valuable to my community, FEAR showed up big time.
I was stuck in fear.
Fear of holding my first Life Coaching workshop.
Fear of supporting women to finally discover their life purpose and create bold, powerful and inspiring visions for their lives, relationships and business or careers.
Fear is part of the decision-making process for most of us. And when fear creeps up, we up level our self-sabotage, upping the ante and taking it to sophisticated new heights.
I was afraid to do the workshop, so I got creative.
Forget just procrastinating and not putting in the work. I was so comfortable in my “But What If” world that I fought for every Money Mindset limitation I could find.
The usual self-sabotaging limitations.
Fear of judgement – What if they could tell I was insecure about being skinny and what if they judged my insecurities?
Fear of visibility – What if they criticized me because of my accent, and then decided this was a waste of their time and money. Even worse, what if they made fun of my accent?
Fear of success – I was afraid that if the workshop was a hit, I’d have to do more of them and that will take me away from spending quality time with my daughter. That was my biggest fear.
Fear of making money – What if they judged me for charging for something so spiritual? Shouldn’t life coaching be free anyway? I felt dirty just considering charging money for the workshop. Selling felt so sleazy.
I created enough road blocks to stay stuck in fear. At some point, I even considered putting off the workshop for a year until I take speaking classes and get comfortable speaking in front of a crowd.
This coming from someone who was a litigator for over 15 years. Priceless.
How Asking the Right Questions Can Shift Your Relationship to Fear
But thank God I have a coach.
My coach, in her amazing way, reminded me that that it wasn’t about me.
The workshop had nothing to do with me.
She reminded me of my WHY.
What would be possible if I stopped thinking about me and just focused on serving these women?
What could we as a group create together if I just remembered WHY I wanted to do this in the first place?
What would be possible if I shared the gift of coaching with the world?
What if I supported them so powerfully that they created massive shifts that took them to the next level in life, relationships and business or career?
What if no one cared about my accent, or hips or even looked at me?
What if they were so nervous to be there?
What if they were so afraid to be vulnerable in a room full of strangers that my skinny ass was the least of their worries?
What if this workshop could make a lasting difference in their lives?
It was the beginning of my journey to creating a 10X Money Mindset and shifting my relationship with fear.
To seeing fear as the protective friend that tries to keep me safe when I decide to do something different.
Trying to Save me from being GREAT.
How Fear and Limiting Beliefs Wreck Havoc on Your Life and Business
Who wants to walk around with that many limiting beliefs holding them from truly living?
From being the best version of themselves.
From growing a business that reflects their core values, makes a difference, and creates time and money freedom.
From being authentic.
From being real.
And I can tell you from personal experience that it’s not the best mindset for creating a powerful vision for your life, business, relationships or career.
It’s not a fun place to be stuck.
This kind of fear affects way more than just starting a business.
Fear that is rooted in a money mindset swimming with limiting beliefs around money, self-worth, acceptance, love, self-trust, value (and so much more) takes a toll.
Why does it matter here today?
Because these fears are the key saboteurs to creating ideal clients, discovering a lucrative niche, creating premium packages that sell, charging the value of your services/products and selling with confidence and ease.
We delude ourselves when we convince ourselves that our lives and businesses are not intertwined.
When we convince ourselves that all we need is another marketing plan.
When we convince ourselves that all we need is another strategy, tool or template.
The reality is that the Mindset stories that hold us back and keep us stuck in life are the same stories (wearing better shoes) that show up to sabotage us from growing a successful business.
It plays havoc on our desire to make a difference and wrecks our bottom line.
Look, don’t get it twisted.
Yes, starting a business can be scary.
Entrepreneurship is no walk in the park (not even for this Money Mindset Coach).
Yet, it is one of the most rewarding gifts we can give to ourselves and the world (if it is who we are called to be).
There’s nothing powerful about fighting for our limitations or holding on to “But What If’s” that don’t serve us.
Excuses that merely stand in the way of us living our best lives.
You’re meant to live your best life!
You Are Not the Only Woman Entrepreneur Dealing with Fear
Keep your chin up. You’re not broken or incomplete.
You’re making a decision. Fear plays a pivotal role in that process.
Fear of being seen,
fear of being judged,
fear of being too much,
fear of being criticized,
fear of success,
fear of failure,
fear of making money,
fear of making another bad decision,
fear of embarrassing your loved ones,
fear of being vulnerable,
fear of being ridiculed.
These fears are far too common for women entrepreneurs and they don’t discriminate.
Fears arising from a crappy Money Mindset cut across skin color, body weight and height, and net worth. They show up whether you make $60,000 a year or $6,000,000 a year.
They show up even if you’re a skinny billionaire with a big heart.
And they seep into every area of life – health, spirituality, well-being, family, professional and business relationships, romantic relationships, business decisions, community; everything.
And it’s OK.
When you know your WHY, AND
Your WHY is big enough and powerful enough, even your dreams, goals and vision become less about you.
Then you let go of the “should” and start operating from a profound place of a 10X Money Mindset that doesn’t consider the opinions of others.
Then you start operating and making decisions with confidence and ease.
Then choosing to BE the woman who does the thing becomes effortless.
Then being vulnerable and scared and doing the damn thing anyway becomes the new SEXY.
And when you can create Money and Time Freedom from serving from your WHY, that’s the real icing on the cake.
How to Shift Your Money Mindset and Use Fear As Business Advantage
It takes those daily 10X Money Mindset showers.
Then your brain gets it.
It gets that it doesn’t have to protect you anymore because you can do this.
You get that fear is merely signal that you’re moving in a bold new direction.
You get that fear is merely a signal that you’re stepping outside your old comfort zone to create a new one.
You get that something new is nothing to be afraid of.
You get that something new has the power to transform your life. If not, it wouldn’t be so scary.
You get that you can use fear to your advantage.
Growing a business, starting a new career, taking that solo trip to another continent,
Yea, all scary, but do you really want that fear to hold you back?
There’s real fear out there.
Fear of that creepy dude in the alley at 3am when you’ve lost your cell phone and there’s no other soul around. That’s real scary.
Building the career you’ve been dreaming of or growing the business you desire? That’s growth. That’s transformation.
So, does it really make sense to play small?
To create artificial road blocks.
To let the unknown stop you?
To shrink your vision to match the amount of money in your checking account?
To hedge your bets?
To have more faith in time and money scarcity than you do in yourself?
As you decide what you’d love your life, business and relationships to look like a year or two from today,
I invite you consider stepping out in faith and using fear to your advantage.
I invite you to consider playing full out and not holding back.
I invite to throw out the limitations shaped by fear.
I invite you to lean into your WHY and create a vision from that space.
A vision that stems from a 10X Money Mindset that knows that anything is possible.
A vision that inspires you to hold fear in one hand, and keep it moving no matter what.
A vision that inspires you to BE the woman that finally does that thing she’s been threating to do for the last 10 years.
Someday is not a day on the calendar.
Send fear a kiss and shift your relationship with it. It will always be there to keep you safe AND you can still choose to move courageously on the journey to creating what your soul truly desires.
God Has Your Back
As I wrote this post today, I got a beautiful gift.
An email from another coach sharing a quote by Audre Lorde.
“When I dare to be powerful, to use my strength in the service of my vision,
then it becomes less and less important whether I am afraid.”
Action Steps – Journaling Exercise
What are your biggest fears?
What scares you the most when you think about stepping outside your comfort zone?
Who does this fear keep you from being?
What would your life look like without this fear?
What would be possible for you in every area of your life?
What one thing from this post can help you use fear to your advantage?
You can do it! You’ve got this.
Get the support you need, and create your highest vibe life, business and relationships.
You REALLY deserve it!
You cannot convince me otherwise.
Cheers to your fabulous success!
I’m MiMi Dabo and I support Women Entrepreneurs who struggle with Creating Premium Clients and Charging their Worth, to Confidently Package, Price, Market and Sell their Services to their Ideal Clients in a Profitable Niche.
I help them to ditch the crappy Money Blocks and stories, and package their services into irresistible high-end offers for their ideal clients, raise their prices or charge what they’re worth, and market and sell with ease so they can radically increase their income – while changing the world in the process. Visit www.lifecoachforwomen.com.