Looking in the Mirror
Every now and then I work with clients who are stuck exactly where I was sidelined for 15 years. Creative, smart and ambitious women who want to connect with their passions, overcome doubt and fear and confidently become their own boss.
Just like I used to dream, they too want to make money doing what they love so they can have more joy in their lives, create a business they enjoy running, live their life purpose, give back, and inspire the world with their gifts and talents.
It all sounds good, right?
So, what gives?
Good ole Limiting Beliefs aka Dirty Socks aka Dirty Underwear.
If you’ve heard this one and you know it, clap your hands!
“I can either do what I love or make money.” Or “You can’t make money doing what you love.”
Typically, the women who are sidelined by this limiting belief are successful and talented professionals who feel a huge void in their lives. They are sick and tired of their corporate jobs but are concerned that building a business on their passion is a magical fantasy that will force them to give up their financial security.
Stuck and swimming in an ongoing Either-Or world, many corporate professionals AND current women entrepreneurs find themselves creating their goals and building their lives based on the HUGE money block that you can either only have money OR only have meaning and purpose in your life, but not both.
Where does this come from? More Fear disguised as Logic!
Fear creates the illusion that keeps the either-or fire burning, nurturing the negative mindset that:
it’s either being a [insert your business vision of choice] and being broke or
being an attorney [or insert your version of a safe and unfulfilling career] and financially secure.
*** Note that there are millions of people working in “financially secure” careers who are very passionate about those careers and enjoy them very much every day. In fact, for some of them, it’s their life purpose. This post is not for you if you fall into that category. This post is for those corporate women or women entrepreneurs who want to build a lucrative business but are sidelined by fear based on an EITHER-OR context.
Uncovering the Limiting Beliefs
Empowering yourself to uncover the limiting belief, where and how you picked it up, and the impact it has on your current life, relationships or business is the first step to creating the shift to a more positive money mindset.
You might realize that you’ve been borrowing someone’s limiting beliefs or wearing someone’s else’s dirty socks or dirty underwear. You owe yourself the gift of knowing where the thing you’re basing your life decisions on actually came from.
It’s the first step toward stepping out to disempowering zone and taking back your power to build the life and business you want.
Identify the origin of this limiting belief in your life. Is it even yours? Is it your parents? Where did it come from? How did it become so pervasive in your life? When did you first start collecting evidence to prove that it is true in your life? Where and how does it show up today?
Take a good look at the evidence you’ve collected.
Look at the Evidence
In my case it was easy.
- I was surrounded by family members, friends and colleagues who worked long hours in unrewarding jobs they hated passionately just because they had families to support.
- As an artist and fashion designer, all my fellow creatives designated themselves as “struggling artists” and showed great pride in being broke, but fabulously happy.
- A law school career counselor reminded me what a waste of time it would be to squash my MBA, CPA, and JD for a creative life of fashion design in New York (even though I got the degrees to start my own business).
- The few brave entrepreneurs I knew were barely getting by each month; lived paycheck to paycheck and often took up part up jobs just to pay the bills.
- I learned that it was unrealistic to make money and be happy in your work at the same time. Isn’t that why it’s called work?
- I learned that health insurance is so expensive that quitting your job to build a business is like shooting yourself in the foot. How will you ever afford insurance for you and your family? (As a single mom, this scared me so much until I realized I was building a business that will provide the money to pay the insurance. – the power of clarity and faith).
What about you?
What evidence have you collected that in today’s world there is no way doing what you love can lead to making money?
Here’s the deal.
Stepping into Possibility
Yes, it’s probable that there will a few learning curves when starting your business, especially if you choose to go at it alone or with little support.
But imagine what is possible if you choose to re-frame the limiting belief. What possibilities and opportunities would you open yourself up to?
What if You Could?
What if you could make money doing what you love? (Look at all the people doing it and collect the evidence for that).
What if living your life purpose and enjoying your passion would empower you to be more creative, resourceful and open to ideas and opportunities for lucrative business ventures?
What if your gifts, talents, passion and creativity are the vehicle to more money, abundance, wellbeing and wealth than you can even imagine?
What if your passion is the thing that allows you to make the most impact in the world?
What if being an entrepreneur and doing what you love is the thing that actually supports you to create money and time freedom in your life?
Instead of wearing someone’s else’s dirty parties,
Ask yourself how you can create a life and business that bring both money and meaning into your life?
What would that look like?
Contrary to popular limiting beliefs that saturate our culture today, you’re not limited to merely two “bad options.”
Like a colleague said to me after I gave notice at my last corporate job….
“You’re such an idiot. How can you quit a prestigious high-paying job [which was complete
bullshit and based on his limited belief of what high-paying meant] that gives you amazing financial security [I’m not sure what his monthly expenses were, but maybe he was making twice my salary], to go play with fabric and beads? How can you be so stupid?”
I wish he was the first person who had ever said that to me. Unfortunately, not. I’ve been in “romantic” relationships where that sentiment held me back from my purpose, but I digress. I write this because it’s easy to start wearing your partner’s dirty socks or underwear.
Where in your romantic relationships does this limiting belief show up?
Where in your family relationships with parents/siblings/other family members does it show up?
Where in your culture does it show up?
Where in your community does it show up?
Whose permission do you need to create empowering beliefs that serve you today?
dream crushers anyone swimming in limiting beliefs and committed to sharing those beliefs with the world to consider that it’s reckless to pass on those limiting beliefs depicting that life sucks so bad that the only choice you have is…
either screw your desire to do what you love and give up your dreams, or
go be a lawyer/doctor/engineers/pharmacist/surgeon/account/dentist and make money, even if the dissatisfaction is killing you.
What if you stepped out in faith and embraced what is possible?
What if you already have everything you need to create the life and business you desire?
What if fear was just a nudge that you’re moving on to something greater, to your next level?
What if you were here to play at the highest level of life, who would you be, and what would you do?
What if becoming everything you were created to me includes looking at the stories and beliefs holding you back?
Life is not an Either-Or game. As a resourceful, creative, enterprising, smart and capable woman, you have the power to come up with ways to have a “BOTH-AND” life.
A way to build the life and business you want and be financially secure.
And if you surround yourself with support and a 10X money mindset, you don’t have to wear anyone else’ dirty socks or panties.
Unless of course, that’s your thing. And if it is, no judgment here.
Cheers to your fabulous Success!
I’m MiMi Dabo and I support Women Entrepreneurs who struggle with Creating Premium Clients and Charging their Worth, to Confidently Package, Price, Market and Sell their Services to their Ideal Clients in a Profitable Niche.
I help them to ditch the crappy Money Blocks and stories, and package their services into irresistible high-end offers for their ideal clients, raise their prices or charge what they’re worth, and market and sell with ease so they can radically increase their income – while changing the world in the process. Visit www.lifecoachforwomen.com.